Coming to terms

So I've been doing a lot of thinking and contemplating about my life and what I want and what I don't want. Basically trying to reevaluate my current situation, which isn't a bad one, it's just a stagnate one. I'm struggling with financials right now, and I don't want the rest of my life to be like that. I want to be secure and have the feeling of not depending on every paycheck. I've been very good about studying for my personal training certificate, I should be able to take the exam within the next few weeks!! But what I'm thinking is the best road for me to take right now...if I can extend my driving hours, is move back home, pay off my credit card, and just save money!!! I want to save a nice little nest so I can be able to really live on my own without having to worry about paying my bills on time. I also want to do a series of competitions next spring and I won't be able to do that paying rent and everything. I want a successful career, not just a moment. So by moving back home I can focus all my energy into fitness and work. Let's just hope that fait is on my side by allowing my driving hours to be extended.

Friendship....

I just got a bombed dropped on me and what really makes me upset and hurts the most is how disrespected I feel. You should be able to trust those closest to you, and friendship goes both way, both should be supportive of the other and help out when the other needs it. But apparently that doesn't ring true with all friends. It just goes to show that you can't trust people no matter what. just because you've been friends for years, doesn't mean they're gonna through for you when you need them. What I'm most upset about is that fact that I've always come through from this person and supported them and helped when I could and when I need support and a little help, it was every man for themselves. Had the situation been reversed I would been a real friend and stuck my hand out to help them out or given up my umbrella right away to cover them from the rain.

Actions most definitely speak louder than words!!

Remember that and stay true to it!

First time Competing

So I plan on competing in the October NPC show in Boston, and the competition is about 6 weeks away and frankly I'm scared out of my mind!!! I have been wanting this for the past year, but like most everything in my life that I've wanted, its always been just that a want. So the idea of me actually making this a reality is putting me into a constant panic attack!! I want nothing more than to get on stage and prove to myself that with hard work and self control I can accomplish anything. I just have to keep positive and keep telling myself that it will be okay, and that I can do this!! I can do this, I Can Do This, I CAN DO THIS!!!!!! and I will do this, I will get on stage and show my friends and family what I've been up to for the past few months but more importantly prove to myself that anything is possible I just have to put my mind to it and concentration.

If you believe, you can achieve!

Sticks and Stones

I just want to take a moment and just express my appreciation towards my friend Julie Costa, not only does she rock it out on stage, but she trains at multiple locations and is constantly on the move, but will always stop and help some one. She has been such an inspiration to me throughout my journey in fitness. I am new to competitive fitness and in October I will be doing my first show, and I am SUPER excited about, because ever since I saw my friend meg compete last year, I just kept thinking to myself "I can do that" and I can and I will. And its will the extreme help of Julie, she has been there to answer my questions about diet, exercise, different shows, and anything I need to know the answer to. I just can't even begin to express how much of an impact she's had on me and it's people like her that keep me motivated and grounded enough to realize that I can accomplish my goals, but I'm gonna have to do the foot work and hard work does pay off.

So thank you Julie, you truly are a genuine person, and for that I am grateful!!!

September!!!

Okay so it is officially September meaning that fall is here and soon it will be winter ( booo!!) but it will also mean the holidays!! I love the holidays, I'm such a kid at heart I love christmas and everything christmas, trees, decorations, gifts, hot chocolate, cheesy romantic movies!! ahhh It's good to be nostalgic. But what september really means to me is competition season! and getting organized and getting things accomplished! I have so really big goals for myself and I just feel like now is the right time to go after them.

Some of my goals are

-Compete in the FAP New York and NPC Boston fitness competition ( I have the best theme!! you have to come and watch to see what it is)

-work the Arnold Expo in March of 2010

-get certified in personal training

-get headshots done and get back into the acting and dance world

I have big dreams for me and my future, and I won't stop until I succeed and even then I'll probably get new goals to achieve! I love to challenge myself and try out new things. I am constantly seeking experience and knowledge, you can never know too much! and I love to learn, learn about everything and anything! I am a HUGE nerd but I love it!

So today I start really killing it in everything that I do and I must stay focused and never give up!!

Fall Back!

So September is finally here!!! I am soo excited, I love the fall weather and oh course fall fashion!! cute sweaters and boots and scarfs, I love it all!!! but something very NEW and exciting is the fitness competitions I will be doing in October. I have wanting to do this ever since I went and saw my friend megan compete last year in New York, I just remember seeing all the girls looking so glamorous ( even if it's just fake tan and rhinestones!!) and oozing all sorts of confidence!!! and I was sitting there just kept thinking to myself "I can do that!" and I can and I will!! I will be doing a fitness routine which is a mixture between dance, strength and acrobatics, depending on what you're good at you would do more dance instead of strength and vice versa. I can't even begin to describe how much I LOVE my routine!!!! it's soo awesome, Lil P did such a great job, and I can't wait for everything to come into place and to get up on stage and show my friends and family what I've training for!!! It's going to be a great end of the year I can just feel it!!!

blast from the past

If you had asked me 5 years ago what I'd be doing today, I definitely would never of said, working out at a gym or even caring about health and nutrition!

Rewind to senior year of high school:
basically for most of my high school years, I was stubborn and loved to argue, I also fell into the wrong crowd, had low self esteem, and never thought about tomorrow. I pretty much walked around with my middle fingers up in the air and wanted to tell everyone to go screw! I also smoked like an old war vet, and didn't want to give it up. Said I was gonna smoke for the rest of my life, and enjoyed it.
After graduation, my school host a "all night grad party" to keep students from getting drunk and driving. They keep it entertaining by hiring a DJ and a mechanical bull and other carnival goodies. One of the features was a card reader, so I signed up, and went to go see what she had to say, knowing that I was right and nothing she said was true. Well low and behold she told me that she saw me in the health field, I of course scoffed in her face and said "I smoke 2 packs a day!!!" she proceeded to say that the cards didn't read for the present but in the future I was to be in the health field.

Fast Forwarded 5 years:
Luckily I have been smoke free for about close to maybe 3 years now, honestly I don't know what made me quit, all I know is that one day I was with a nonsmoking friend and we just drove around all day. but the end of the day I had realized that I had yet to smoke a single cigarette, so I took what I had left of my pack, and threw it out the window. I knew that I didn't need it anymore, and that was probably the best thing I did for myself. I have also gone on, to study to be a personal trainer, I take great pride in working out and living a healthy lifestyle.

It's crazy how life works out, I never thought that I'd be doing the things I do today 5 years ago, but I don't ever look back and wish to change anything. I am who I am because everything that has gone on in my life. and I am just truly happy with how things are turning out!