So the other day I was at the gym doing my thing, and while I was doing my cardio I noticed this frail thin girl going to town on one of the cardio machines. All I wanted to do was go over to her and shove a sandwich down her throat! not in a jealous crazy way, but in a be healthy way. This poor girl was way too thin and probably shouldn't be doing cardio at all! let alone putting all her energy into
But something beautiful happened at this moment, for seeing this girl, it made me feel really okay with myself and my body and THAT is such a huge step, for I was under the be thing spell for a real long time.
From the time I was in 7th grade up until probably 6 months ago, all I ever did was critize myself,
"I'm too short!" "I'm not thing enough" "Not pretty enough" "not smart enough" etc etc. I did everything one could do, fad diet, crash diets, cleanses, diet pills, not eating, force sickness. I wouldn't go out in public if I felt overweight or not attractive. This toxic thinking plagued my for years. But things started to change over the last year, I saw one of my best friends do a fitness competition, and the transformation that she went through blew my mind. I mean I had been active for most of my life, going to the gym, do sports in school, but never obtain the look I wanted and saw in magazine; and here my friend was up on stage with the exact look I wanted. I decided that I was going to do that! I started lifting heavier and becoming more and more excited about nutrition and what is was all about. And through my research and love of exercise, I have been able to except and realize the importance of truly being healthy, not just being thin.
Now I'm a perfectionist and I still have things I want to change and work on, but I know I will make those changes over time and nothing happened overnight, and the most important realization I've come to is that I no longer dream of a waif like body, I want a strong healthy looking body from the inside out!
So ladies please!! keep yourself healthy, make healthy foods choice, don't think that do 3 hours of cardio is going to help you, because it's not! it will only hurt you, and most importantly EAT!!! starving yourself is not the answer!! all those "hot bodies" in hollywood get that way but exercising and eating right!!
and don't beat yourself up if you don't fit into a certain size pant, or if you're hair isn't long enough. you are who you are and you can't change that no matter what so you better start enjoying it!